I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

I 've put my finger on my self destruction button,
the god of sleep is closing my eyes,
please, don't forgive my second mistake,
you were never meant to feel the pain,
blood,
if I had a gun I would shoot myself,
relief, yes, that's the word,
no matter you seem to understand,
we will never be the way we were,
the price I pay every day gets higher,
but I am poor,
I feel condemned,
your fingers make circles around my weeping eyes,
you loved me more than I coult take,
it makes me sick,
and you still do,
it makes me sicker,
erase me,
you really deserve something better,
but where will you find it?
I am pure good,
that is why I get punished...